As a mother of two teenagers, I see my kids and their friends and often think to myself, how can I share with them the important things I’ve learned that I wish I would have known when I was their age? How can I communicate to them the importance of the decisions they make now, and how these will impact their future? If I could only give them one piece of advice, what would it be?
There are a lot of things I want to share with them, but one that stands out is the importance of finding mentors. The older I get, the more I wish I would have had more mentors throughout my teenage years, college years, and beyond.
Because of the overwhelming access to information in this day and age our teens may very well know a lot more things than we did when we were their age, but information will never be a substitute for experience. Experience gives you perspective, wisdom, discernment, and a better ability to assess situations to choose the best path. A good mentor will possess those qualities.
Here are some examples of different mentors and what I tell my kids to look for in each area:
Spiritual Mentors
- They are genuinely pursuing to grow in their relationship with God and other people.
- They know the word of God, but don’t use it as a weapon to control or manipulate others.
- They are real and honest about their own struggles.
- They are compassionate about your struggles, while at the same time hold you accountable to get closer to God and become the person He created you to be.
- You can trust them to keep your conversations confidential.
Dating/Marriage Mentors
- They have been married for a long time and have the kind of marriage you wish to have one day.
- They have overcome trials in life together.
- They are honest about the tough times in their marriage, and about how they overcame their struggles.
- They are thriving in their marriage and as individuals.
- They share mutual respect and serve one another.
- They love God and seek to glorify Him in their marriage.
Financial Mentors
- They have no debt and live comfortably within their means.
- They are wise in how they spend their money.
- They give generously.
- Chances are, they made a lot of sacrifices early in life.
- Their advice might not be what you want to hear in this stage of your life, but it will pay off in time.
Career/Vocational Mentor
- They are successful and fulfilled in the field you’re interested in.
- They do not sacrifice their family or other important things on the altar of a successful career.
- They are respected by the people they work with. Their boss, employees, or coworkers, speak well of them.
- They have excellent work ethic, and honor God in their jobs.
The list can go on and on for things like health and wellness, time management, home organization, a hobby, parenting, etc. Often times one person covers more than one area, but it’s okay to have more than one mentor for different things.
Ultimately, I tell my kids to look for people who have built the kind of life they want for themselves as adults, and to not be afraid or embarrassed to ask them if they would consider becoming their mentor.
As parents, we want the world for our children. We can teach them what we know, and pray that God brings godly men and women in their lives that will teach and encourage them to become the best they can be in different areas of life. We should also pray they will always keep a humble and teachable spirit to receive instruction that will serve them well in life.
Your turn!
- Do you have a mentor? If so, share with your teens how you have benefitted from this relationship. If you don’t, consider looking for a mentor for yourself.
- Pray that God brings the right mentors for your children.
- When appropriate, involve your teens in your relationship with other adults you respect.
- Encourage your teens to find mentors.
Photo Credit: Jon Tyson – Unsplash
