“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14
It might be one of the most annoying things to deal with as a parent, but it is undeniably true: if you have more than one kid, sibling conflict is a part of family life. My kids have had their fair share of quarrels over the years. Too many to remember them all. However, there is one particular incident that will forever remain engraved in my mind and heart. Partly because of how comical it was to see it play out, but most of all because the Lord decided to use it as a teachable moment, not for my kids, but for me.
On that day, my daughter was the instigator and my son was the victim of his little sister’s antics. She decided to grab one of her brother’s favorite toys while he watched from a distance. He jumped to his feet as soon as she held his toy in her hand and the chase was on! Looking for refuge, she ran as fast as her little legs would take her while her fuming brother got closer and closer with his longer strides. She made it safely to the Jack & Jill bathroom they shared at the time and barricaded herself in there as it was the only room with locks on the doors.
I had followed from a short distance and stood in the hallway between their bedroom doors. Normally, I would grab the instigator, confiscate the toy, and return it to its rightful owner. Not this time. Something caused me to take a step back and observe.
I noticed my son frantically running back and forth from one bedroom to the other trying to open either one of the two doors that connected the bathroom to their respective bedrooms. It didn’t matter how much he pleaded, reasoned or yelled, he was entirely helpless to unlock the door. After several times of watching him zoom by me without even acknowledging my presence, I finally grabbed him by the shoulders and stopped him in his tracks.
“Buddy, stop! I’m right here! You keep running by me without asking for my help. Your sister is not going to listen to you. But don’t you know that she will listen to me? I have the authority to get her to open the door and get your toy back!”
I was feeling pretty good about my speech. I didn’t anticipate what would happen next. You see, at the time I was going through my very own relational conflict with my husband. Anyone else here ever tried playing “Holy Spirit” in your marriage? Spoiler alert: It does not work. Watching my son run from one locked door to the other expecting to encounter a different result each time, getting more and more frustrated with each attempt, opened my eyes to see that that was exactly what I was doing. Surprisingly, the words I thought were meant for my son found their way back to my soul, and I felt like God was personalizing them just for me.
“Samantha, stop! I’m right here! How much longer will you keep dismissing my presence and your need for my help? I have the authority and ability to actually make something happen, not you.”
Conviction filled my heart as God put on display what I had been doing, and the answer as to why I kept encountering “locked doors” became clear. I was trying to fix my situation with my own resources, human wisdom, and strength. I was fighting a battle that belonged to God, not me. My Heavenly Father had been there all along, willing and able to resolve my conflict, but I was too busy going at it on my own to even notice the futility of my attempts.
I wonder… is there anyone else here running back and forth from one locked door to another without acknowledging God’s presence? May I remind you that He is right there, waiting for you to realize your need for Him?
I pray you gather the courage to surrender to the Lord whatever relational conflict you are currently facing. You can be fully confident that He has the authority to soften the heart or hearts involved in your situation.
If you stop running around long enough to acknowledge His presence, He can tenderly put His hands on your shoulders and remind you of His love and power, and you might just discover that it is actually your heart, yes, your heart, what He’s been going after all this time.
The Lord will fight for you, are you willing to be still?
Your turn!
- Have you surrendered your marriage to God?
- In what areas of your marriage are you trying “to play” Holy Spirit?
- What can you do differently?
- How can you remind yourself to turn to prayer anytime you’re tempted to take matters into your own hands?
- How are things different in your marriage when you rely on God?
Photo by Vera Arsic – Pexels
