I don’t know about you but if I don’t keep myself in check I can very easily fantasize about the perfect Hallmark Christmas, and I seem to forget that every guy in those movies is an actor following a script that was probably written by a woman.
Neither one of those men had to personally come up with thoughtful gift ideas, go shopping, wrap presents, or create the dreamy ambiance for their Christmas extravaganza. No, they had the movie art directors and the prop team to thank for that. So keep that in mind and give your man a break!
With that being said, here are five tips to set him up for success this Christmas:
1. Give him a Christmas wishlist – Don’t expect him to remember that back in May (or last week for that matter) you mentioned something you really liked hoping he would get a hint. Most men are not very good at taking hints or filing in their memory things of that sort. It’s better to give them a wishlist that stays within your budget, or in extreme cases order the gift yourself. Buying your own gift is not ideal but it is an option, and on the bright side you’ll be getting what you really want.
2. Talk to him about Christmas plans – Women are typically the driving force behind all the Christmas plans in the family and sometimes we forget that our husbands’ desire and willingness to participate in all the festivities are different than ours. For example, I know better than to get tickets for the whole family to go see the Nutcracker Ballet. My daughter and I make it a girls’ event, my son and my husband stay home and we’re all happy. Unless your children are part of the production, don’t force your husband to take part in events he’s not interested in. He will appreciate it and you will enjoy your event a lot more without the pressure of having an unwilling participant in tow.
3. Ask him what his ideal Christmas looks like – I have to confess that up until recently, I had never asked him that. He just went along with whatever I planned, which was a traditional Christmas at home. A couple of years ago, however, he shared that he would really like for us to go on a family vacation over Christmas break. I wasn’t too keen on the idea at first because I really enjoy our traditions and being home for the holidays, but I also love traveling. So we compromised on scheduling our trips before or after the 25th so we can be home for Christmas. Family vacations are my husband’s love language and he was thrilled to spend part of the holiday season doing one of his favorite things in the last two years.
4. Don’t compare him to other husbands – This is a good rule in general, but just remember when you get on social media during the holiday season that you’re only seeing the best snapshots of other people’s marriages. If you start to get caught up in someone else’s Christmas highlights, that would be a good time to work on a list of all the things you appreciate about your husband to stay focused on all of his good qualities instead of what he might be lacking. Having the right perspective will make all the difference in the world. Bonus points: Put that list in his stocking!
5. Give him fair warning to complete the things you need help with – Most of us don’t appreciate the pressure of assembling toys, wrapping presents, or working on other finishing touches well past midnight the night before Christmas. Sleep-deprived husbands/dads are less likely to have a cheery disposition when the kids are up and ready to open presents at the crack of dawn on Christmas Day. I realize you can’t control when he chooses to get the job done, and that sometimes there’s no way around it and things have to get done the night before (like assembling a large toy that can’t be hidden once it’s been put together). However, you can talk to him ahead of time about the tasks you need his help with so he’s not caught off guard at the last minute. At least that way he can mentally prepare himself for what he needs to do.
You’d be surprised to know that your husband wants to be successful in making you happy. He might just need a little guidance. If all else fails, remember there is only one man who will always meet your expectations: Jesus. So give your husband permission to be human, to tap out when he’s had enough holiday cheer, and to do things he enjoys even if they break away from tradition. After all, it’s his holiday season too!
Your turn!
- What are some practical steps you can take in the coming days to set your husband up for success this Christmas?
- Plan for a time to sit with him and go over Christmas plans.
- What are some events he can skip this season that he doesn’t enjoy?
- Give him a wishlist of things you would like to get as gifts or in your stocking.
Photo by Jonathan Borba- Pexels
