“The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Proverbs 18:21
Just like with any skill that’s worth attaining, learning a new language takes a lot of practice. English is my second language and I attribute my ability to speak it fluently to three main things – desire, input and lots and lots of practice.
I lived in the U.S. for a year when I was in 5th grade and that was very helpful. It definitely provided me with a good English foundation. However, once I moved back to Mexico I only had some English classes in middle school and high school, and we all know how useful those classes are in real life. Learning English was important to me, so I had to get creative! I remember recording T.V. shows in English on VHS tapes and watching them over and over again to the point that I almost had them memorized. I would also listen to English songs all the time. However, even with all of that input, it was still difficult for me to have conversations in English when I moved to the U.S. as an adult.
I had a lot of English in my head, but I had not been around people who only spoke English to practice having real conversations. I could understand most of what they were saying, but I still had to translate in my head how I wanted to respond. In other words, I was listening to English but I was still thinking in Spanish. I knew I had become fluent in English when I started thinking (and dreaming) in English. At that point, speaking English became natural to me and it no longer required effort on my part.
For the last few years, I have been learning to speak yet another language. If you enjoy listening to worship music, you have probably heard Toby Mac’s song “Speak Life”. The lyrics encourage people to speak words that build others up. That’s what I’m talking about when I say that I am learning a new language. I am learning to speak life.
The Bible is very clear about the way we should use our words. There are several scripture references that tell us that our words should edify, build up, encourage, teach, bless, and comfort people (ourselves included). The Bible is also very clear about the way we should NOT use our words – gossip, hate, insults, putdowns, condemnation, shaming, to curse others, etc. Essentially, when talking to someone or about someone, our words need to match up with what God says and thinks about that person. If our opinion of that person is different than God’s, we need to refrain from sharing what we think and instead ask God to help us see them the way He does.
After years and years of using my words carelessly, it has taken a while to become fluent in this new language. But just like when I wanted to learn English, I have a strong desire to become fluent in speaking LIFE! So I’m using the same strategy I used to learn English – input and practice! I am getting a lot of input from sermons, books, bible verses, and music. I am also seeking relationships with people who are already fluent in this language and I am practicing speaking life to the people around me. The more I do it, the easier it gets and the less effort it takes to come up with encouraging words to say.
Speaking life feels so good! I no longer have to walk away from a conversation with regret. And it truly is amazing to see people’s faces light up when you speak a good word to them!
Here’s how you can learn too!
DESIRE
For starters, you need to really desire to learn and implement this new language. It takes dedication, time, and effort to create new habits and this one is no exception. Having a strong desire to do this, will put you ahead of the game in the process. I had an end goal in mind when I was learning English – I wanted to live in the U.S. without limiting my opportunities for jobs, friendships, entertainment, etc. because of a language barrier. Having that goal in mind motivated me to put in the hard work to become fluent in English. The same is true for learning to speak life. I have an end goal in mind. My end goal is to build up my husband, my children, and everyone around me. I want to play an active role in encouraging people to become who God created them to be. That right there, motivates me to put in the work to become fluent at speaking life.
INPUT
Luke 6:45 says that “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” In other words, what we fill our hearts (minds) with is what will come out. I had to purposely fill my head with this new language and anyone who wants to learn it has to do the same. There are no short cuts. It is impossible to learn a second language if you are never around it. God’s word, as usual, is always a good place to start. Reading the book of Psalms, the book of Proverbs (there is so much about our speech in this book!), 1 Corinthians 13, and The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters 5-7) are all good passages to renew our thinking patterns. Just like when I was watching T.V. shows over and over to learn English, the scriptures I mentioned are great ones to read multiple times. It’s even better if you memorize them!
The people you hang out with, the shows you watch, the podcasts you listen to, the news you read, music, the people you follow on social media, are all sources of input in your life. Consider all of them and evaluate if they are positive or toxic sources of input. You will know they are positive if they encourage you to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). If instead, they promote division, conflict, complaints, hate, anger, gossip, lies, etc. then you should probably eliminate or limit your exposure to that kind of input and replace it with life-giving truth.
PRACTICE
This is my favorite part! Ask the Lord to give you opportunities to practice and to open the eyes of your heart to see people the way He sees them. Ask Him to give you a word of encouragement for your spouse, your children, another family member or a friend and then DO IT! If they are not with you, you can send a text, write a note or leave a voicemail. The more specific you are, the better! Here are some examples of ways in which I have encouraged my family and others:
“Thank you for picking up the kids today, that was so helpful! I love that you are always willing to serve our family. You are amazing!”
“You are so thoughtful and generous! You have a knack for making people feel special. That gift you picked for your sister was perfect.”
“You are so joyful and sweet! I am so proud of having you as my daughter. You sure know how to use your words to encourage others!”
“I noticed that you felt sad for your friend when he got picked on, that tells me that you have a compassionate heart. It was so sweet of you to offer him a brownie to cheer him up.”
“That is so cool that you got invited to sing in the youth band. When a leader approaches you with an opportunity like that one, that means that they believe you will do a good job at it. Always consider those opportunities before discarding them as an option.”
“Do you know how much God loves you? The bible says that He rejoices over you with singing and that His plans for you are good.”
I recently completed a leadership training for women through my church. At the end of the training, the leaders spoke personalized words of encouragement to each of the participants. It was beautiful to see the effect of those words in each lady’s face and I can attest from my experience that hearing someone build me up in public, had an effect on me that I can’t even put into words. I pray you are able to receive and give life-giving words freely!
Your turn!
- When was the last time someone spoke life over you?
- When was the last time you spoke life over your spouse, your children, your friends, yourself?
- What kind of input are you getting on a regular basis?
- What can you do to surround yourself with people who are uplifting and encouraging?
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
