“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”
EccLESIASTES 4:9
I struggle with discipline. I don’t connect with God at the same time and place every day, I don’t cook dinner as often as I should, and I find it difficult to stick to any kind of routine long term. Waking up early, working out, and eating healthy are things I have to work really hard to do. They just don’t come easy to me.
It’s easy to become discouraged when you find yourself constantly failing at things that other people seem to do with ease. When my kids were little, we went through a season where we were late to church more times than not, and the church was less than five minutes from our house! I remember feeling like I had to explain myself to the friends who lived farther away but were always on time. Sometimes I even avoided making eye contact with them as we were sneaking in late, once more.
Experiences like that one made me feel defeated and judged (whether I was being judged or not). It took me a long time to accept that God wired people differently, and because of that, we all have different strengths and weaknesses.
Let’s face it, nobody can do all things well. I can’t and neither can you. But it is possible to improve in our areas of weakness with each other’s help. Imagine what could happen if, when we meet someone who is good at something we struggle with, instead of thinking: Good for her (insert sarcastic tone), or She’s crazy, or I could never do that, we shifted our mindset to: I can learn from her. She can help me!
Recognizing my own strengths has allowed me to celebrate others’ strengths rather than feel threatened by them. Organization is one of my strengths. I love shelves, baskets, containers, and labels—I get giddy at the thought of reorganizing a closet! So when a friend wanted to organize hers, I was more than happy to offer suggestions. That same friend, however, is incredibly knowledgeable about health and wellness. When I wanted to make healthier choices for my family, I invited her to look through my fridge and pantry and give me honest advice. A task that felt overwhelming to me was second nature to her. Win-win.
That’s not the only time I’ve reached out to a friend to help me out in an area that they are noticeably good at. For a season, I had one of my early-rising friends call me every morning to hold me accountable in my desire to improve my morning routine. A few months ago, a friend with a keen eye for design helped me redo my family-room and I love it! And I also follow several friends on social media who focus on health and fitness related things, and although I might not do everything they are doing, I do some of the things they share. Instead of feeling threatened by them, they inspire me to take better care of myself and my family.
I am thankful to be surrounded by friends who have different strengths than mine. I might not ever be as good as they are in what they do best. Some things simply come easier to some people than others, but I have made progress in many areas of struggle thanks to them.
Embracing Differences in Your Relationship
The same applies to romantic relationships. You and your boyfriend won’t have the same strengths and weaknesses—and that’s okay! In fact, those differences can make you stronger as a couple, if you learn to appreciate them instead of resenting them. Imagine how much healthier relationships would be if, instead of thinking: Why can’t he just do things the way I do? we asked, How can we learn from each other and grow together?
The key is learning to appreciate and embrace each other’s differences
rather than expecting your strengths to be his, or vice versa.
I am grateful for the friends and people in my life who help me grow in areas I struggle with. And I know that in a healthy relationship, we should be doing the same—learning from each other, growing together, and appreciating the unique strengths God has given us.
My prayer is that instead of feeling frustrated by our differences, we learn to see them as a gift that makes us better together.
FLAG THIS!
- No one does everything well—we all have different strengths and struggles.
- Instead of feeling discouraged by someone else’s strengths, choose to learn from them.
- Seek out friendships where you can both give and receive help in different areas.
- Recognizing your own strengths allows you to celebrate others without insecurity.
- You and your boyfriend will have different strengths and weaknesses—embrace them! Instead of expecting him to be strong where you are, appreciate how you can complement each other.
- A healthy relationship involves mutual encouragement and appreciation.
HEART CHECH: Reflect and Grow
- Am I allowing God to use our differences to help us grow together?
- Do I expect my boyfriend to have the same strengths as me?
- Am I open to learning from him in areas where he is stronger?
- Do I appreciate his strengths, or do I get frustrated by them?
- How can I encourage him in areas where he struggles?
Photo by olia danilevich – Pexels
