Have you heard Kari Jobe’s new song, “The Blessing”? Such a beautiful song inspired by Numbers 6:24-26 which reads:
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Just when you think the song can’t get any better, Kari belts out this powerful declaration:
“May His favor be upon you, and a thousand generations. In your family and your children, and their children, and their children.”
Doesn’t that sound wonderful? More than anything, I want to pass on a blessing to my children, and their children, and their children…
Every family tree includes their fair share of disfunction, tragedy, feuds, and secrets. Have you ever noticed there are certain patterns that repeat themselves generation after generation? Things like abuse, addictions, infidelity, anxiety, depression, absent fathers, shame, guilt, and insecurity, to name just a few. However, with the Holy Spirit’s help, we have the power to turn our generational baggage into generational blessings!
How can we do that?
Know God
My husband and I are the first generation of Christians in both of our families. We had loving parents and relatives around us growing-up, but we were not raised learning what it means to live for the glory of God. We didn’t grow-up attending church or reading the Bible, let alone knowing how to develop a personal relationship with God to fulfill the purpose for which we were created. Another important detail we did not know was that we have an enemy who wants to “kill, steal, and destroy” everything God is trying to accomplish in our lives. We could not possibly fight a battle we didn’t know we were in. Once we knew that we were created for a purpose, that we had an enemy who did not want us to fulfill that purpose, and that God was on our side, the opportunity to make some positive changes, for ourselves and our future generations, began.
Know Your Family
Beginning with your parents and going as far back as you can, try to find out the following information: What were your ancestors’ main struggles/failures? What kept them “stuck” in life? Are there any distinct patterns that you can identify in multiple relatives? Which ones did you inherit? A lot of people from previous generations, even those who were believers, were not equipped to deal with the curveballs of life in a healthy way. Hence there are a lot of topics or stories that can’t be talked about in some families. We tend to not talk about these things because they are the part of the family’s legacy everyone wants to forget. But sweeping things under the rug does not do us or our future generations any favors. If we want to break free from generational strongholds, we have to know what those are.
Know Yourself
Most people go through this life without ever really knowing themselves. They don’t take the time to learn who they are in Christ, and they rarely get to identify and correct any generational patterns they’re repeating. In an act of self-defense, we deceive ourselves into believing that we are doing just fine, even if it’s pretty obvious to those around us that we are not. That’s why it is important that we invite the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the areas in our lives we need to change. King David prayed: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalms 139:23-24. We would be wise to seek the truth about ourselves in the same way King David did. Once you identify a stronghold (wrong mindsets that lead to sinful behavior), you can find what the Bible has to say about it and speak God’s truth over yourself.
Know Your Children
I don’t know about you and your children, but I can already see some negative traits my children inherited from my husband and I. Rather than ignoring them, I pay attention and regard them as important information because they show me what I need to be praying for, as well as what kind of conversations I need to have with each of my children. I try to openly discuss with them how those strongholds negatively affect them and others, and I do my best to model what it looks like to partner with the Holy Spirit in the battle to be set free from strongholds.
The key thing is to be transparent and willing to have difficult conversations and to do the hard work required to break free. You can always reach out to a spiritual leader you trust for guidance and support, or seek professional help, if needed. Either way, it is worth going through the process because we are promised victory in Christ!
I pray that when my future generations look back on our family tree, they can pinpoint to my husband and I, and identify God’s presence in our lives. May we all leave a godly legacy for our children, and their children, and their children… Amen.
Your turn!
- Do you know God? That is the most important thing you need to do to start the healing process in your family. If you don’t have a relationship with God, check out this post.
- How well do you know yourself? What are some areas you need to work on to break generational patterns?
- Ask your family members to share stories from your ancestors with you. What patterns do you see?
- Make time to have conversations with your children about this topic.
