“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
SERENITY PRAYER
Accepting what I cannot change has been one of the most freeing and empowering lessons I’ve ever learned. But I won’t pretend it’s easy.
In dating and relationships, we all face disappointments, unmet expectations, and things beyond our control. Maybe you like someone who doesn’t feel the same way, or a relationship ended when you didn’t want it to. Maybe your boyfriend isn’t as emotionally available as you wish, or you keep waiting for someone to change. The truth is, not everything is ours to fix.
I’m not saying that whenever something in dating feels difficult, we should just give up and move on. Not at all. The first step is to pray for wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we can’t. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” If God is calling us to take action—to set a boundary, have an honest conversation, walk away from a toxic situation, or even work through issues with patience and love—then we should do so boldly. But there are also times when God is asking us to surrender a situation to Him and accept that some things are simply out of our hands.
When I Tried to Control What Wasn’t Mine to Control
For a long time, I resisted the idea of acceptance. I believed that if I just tried hard enough, I could force situations to work out the way I wanted. But every time I refused to accept reality, I only became more frustrated, anxious, and disappointed. Instead of changing the situation, I was exhausting myself emotionally.
It took time, but I finally realized that acceptance doesn’t mean giving up—it means letting go of what isn’t mine to control.
I would love for you to know that:
- Acceptance allows you to set realistic expectations for your relationships. Instead of clinging to a fantasy of how things should be, you can acknowledge what actually is.
- Acceptance frees you from chasing what isn’t meant for you. If someone isn’t pursuing you, respecting you, or valuing you, you don’t have to fight for their attention—you can trust that God has something better.
- Acceptance invites you to turn to prayer. When you hit a wall in dating, you may not have the power to change it, but God does.
- Acceptance hopes for the best but doesn’t need things to change to be at peace. You can have joy in God, even if your relationship status isn’t what you expected.
- Acceptance is an act of faith. It reminds you that God is in control, that His plan is better than yours (Proverbs 3:5-6), and that you don’t have to force something that isn’t right.
- Acceptance doesn’t mean passivity. It doesn’t mean settling for less than you deserve or staying in an unhealthy relationship. Instead, it means choosing to act on Plan B when it’s clear that Plan A isn’t an option.
What Disappointment Are You Wrestling With in Your Dating Life?
If it’s something within your control, seek God’s wisdom about what steps you need to take. But if it’s something outside your control—someone else’s feelings, the past, or unanswered prayers—I pray you ask God for the grace to accept, release, and trust.
You don’t have to like it, and you don’t have to agree with it. But if you want peace, you do have to surrender it to God. Adjust your expectations, figure out the next step forward, and allow yourself to move on.
God is good and faithful. He is writing your story in His perfect timing. Stay close to Him, and He will show you the way forward—whether that’s waiting with peace, walking away with confidence, or stepping into something new with faith.
FLAG THIS!
- Trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change will only drain you.
- You can’t force someone to like you, commit to you, or treat you the way you deserve.
- Holding onto past relationships, heartbreak, or “what could have been” keeps you from receiving what God has for you next.
- Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you trust God’s plan more than your own.
HEART CHECK: Reflect and Grow
- Is there a relationship or situation in your life where you’re struggling to accept reality?
- What’s one thing in dating you’ve been trying to control that you need to surrender to God?
- Have you ever clung to a relationship (or the idea of one) even when it wasn’t right for you? What did that teach you?
- What is something you can control in your dating life? How can you focus on that instead of what you can’t?
- How would your heart feel lighter if you accepted what you cannot change?
