How would your teens school experience be different this year if they learned a few time-management skills? How many stressful moments could be avoided in your family dynamics if your teens consistently completed their assignments on time, and if they were adequately prepared for soccer practice, gymnastics, or piano class every time they need to head out the door? (Especially if you are still driving them!) Sit with that thought for a moment. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
I’m always trying to teach my teens skills that will set them up for success and make their lives easier. Time management is high up on my list of skills I want them to learn. I must sound like a broken record encouraging them to plan ahead, work ahead, keep a calendar, set alarms, etc. I’ve found that it is helpful to have a key phrase or word to help them turn abstract concepts, such as time management, to action. This summer I discovered the term “buffer” to refer to this very subject.
In his book, Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg McKeown, talks about creating systems to be able to execute your plans and responsibilities so they become routine and effortless. The first system he talks about is something he refers to as creating buffers. He explains that the only thing we can expect is the unexpected, so he proposes: “we can either wait for the moment to react to it or we can prepare. We can create a buffer. A buffer can be defined literally as something that prevents two things from coming into contact and harming each other.”
I read that particular chapter of the book with my son, who is a senior in high school this year, and gave him a few examples from our own lives in which creating buffers would have been the answer to avoiding stress and frustration. He was able to understand and agree that in those instances, creating buffers would have greatly benefitted all of us.
The author proposes three ways to create buffers. I am including some examples for each one that I think are relevant to creating buffers during the school year.
Use extreme preparation
Generally speaking, our teens know what they need to have ready for school every day. Getting things ready the day before such as clothes, school uniforms, lunches, homework, backpacks, practice uniforms, extracurricular activities gear, snacks, etc. can greatly reduce stress and potential conflict between you and your teen during the day. Some things could be planned for days or even weeks in advance. Maybe they need a sports uniform once a week, why wait until the day before or the day of to make sure it’s clean and ready? Or perhaps they know of an upcoming project that is due a month from now, why not get all the materials they need ahead of time and schedule times throughout the month to work on it?
Add 50 percent to your time estimate
This would apply to commutes to school and practices, planning school projects, preparing for an important test, memorizing a speech, doing a research paper, etc. They tend to underestimate how long those things will take, and rushing to get somewhere on time or to finish a project the night before its due date is never fun. Encourage them to look at what’s coming ahead, what things will require planning, and to add 50 percent to their time estimate.
Conduct scenario planning
The author of the book suggests we ask the following questions: “What risk do you face on this project? What is the worst-case scenario? What would the social effects of this would be? What would the financial impact of this be? How can you invest to reduce risks?” The answers to the first four questions could range from a failed grade, embarrassment, detention, getting grounded, missing out on fun activities with friends, not graduating with their peers, getting expelled, missing out on scholarship opportunities, paying late fees, etc. And I think the answer to the last question is found in the first two points: Use extreme preparation. Thinking of what extreme preparation would look like for a particular task is a great starting point. Then of course add 50 percent to your time estimate.
Ultimately, creating a buffer is the conscious decision of being a step ahead, expecting the unexpected, and planning for it. I know something clicked when I shared that with my son. Now I can use the word “buffer” when I want him to think about his time management, and talk about some of the many examples we have from our own experiences when we failed to create buffers.
Keep in mind that perfection is not the goal. The point is to learn what works and to create awareness of where we’re at so that we can make improvements and experience some wins. So don’t judge me the next time you happen to notice that I failed to create a buffer.
Your turn!
- What are some buffers you’d like to incorporate into your routine or that you already have in place?
- In what areas can your teen benefit from creating buffers?
- Identify a scenario that is an ongoing struggle and create a plan for it that incorporates all three ways of creating a buffer (extreme preparation, add 50% to your time estimate, and conduct scenario planning).
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya – Pexels
