My family and I recently attended an apologetics conference for High School students with both of my teens, and one of the topics discussed was the fact that teens will at times doubt their faith and question why they believe what they believe.
I became a Christian when I was 15 years old, and my husband became a Christian in college. I had child-like faith and I never really questioned the validity of the Bible or the Gospel before I became a Christian. My husband, on the other hand, used to attend Bible studies in college as an antagonist. He asked the Bible study leaders every question he could possibly think of to make them stumble. Sometimes they had answers for him, and other times they had to take some time to research and study before they could give him an answer. There is no doubt the Holy Spirit was working in my husband’s heart. Even though he might have started as an antagonist, he soon became a sincere agnostic in search of truth. The Bible promises that when we sincerely seek God, we will inevitably find Him, and so my husband became a believer.
Because of his background, Christian apologetics is something dear and near to our hearts. We recognize the need to equip our children to have an answer for people who will challenge and question their beliefs. We want our kids to have a solid foundation so they can stand firm and own their faith apart from us. But we also want them to be able to point others to the love and grace that can only be found in Jesus.
Here are some of the things we do in our home to encourage open discussions about faith:
1. I share my own doubts and questions with them.
One of the things I try to practice, especially as my kids have gotten older, is to normalize doubting. I include them in conversations during times in which I am wrestling with a faith-based doubt or question, so I can model for them how I process my thoughts and feelings concerning my faith. I think some parents fear that if they share their doubts with their kids, they might lead them astray or lose credibility or respect as spiritual leaders, but I have found it to be just the opposite. In fact, I have been pleasantly surprised by my kids’ insights and encouragement during some of those conversations.
2. I give my kids permission to share and research their doubts and questions without judgment.
My kids also know they have permission to express their doubts, and permission to research different sources, ideas and perspectives about their questions. So far, allowing them to do this has resulted in stronger faith for both of them, because they feel like they are no longer believing because of what we’ve told them, but because of what they have learned and experienced for themselves.
3. No topic is off limits.
We also don’t shy away from any topic. Any question they have is up for discussion. I hate to break this to you, but your teen has more than likely heard about every topic you can think of from their friends, classmates, youth group friends, TV, and social media. In some cases, they probably know more about a subject than we do. Trust me, if they’re not allowed to talk about certain subjects with you, they will ask someone else. It’s a lot better for them to have those conversations with you, than with their peers.
4. Continuing education of both the Bible and the culture we live in.
It’s a good idea for parents to be well informed about the new trends and topics surrounding today’s teen culture. It’s also good to attend conferences, Bible studies, and read books that can equip you to tackle difficult topics with your teens. It will help them to see that you are seeking to grow deeper in your knowledge of the things they face every day, and it will be especially impactful for them to see you learn and apply God’s word in your own life.
5. PRAY
Pray for wisdom, pray for tender hearts, pray for the truth to be revealed, pray for sincerity in their doubts, pray for mentors to come alongside you and your children, pray for friends who will point your kids to Jesus, pray for your kids to hear God’s voice, pray that God will meet them in their doubts and will strengthen their faith.
Here is a beautiful prayer that Paul wrote for the Ephesians that I think encompasses my heart for my children and yours:
I ask that out of the riches of His glory He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. Then you, being rooted and grounded in love, will have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and with and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:16-21
Your turn!
- How do you respond when your teens raise questions about your faith?
- Do they have the freedom to voice their doubts without feeling judged?
- What do you do when you have doubts yourself?
- What is one thing you can do to open the communication between you and your kids?
Photo Credit: Leeloo the First – Pexels
